Well I finally have been tapping into it again and I'm glad that dynamic is still alive within my person. It started with my solo drive to my beloved home state. I finally hit a point in my 7-8 hour drive when I rolled the windows down and in came the desert rain smell and a flood of emotions. It was stunning, that feeling. I pulled to the side of the rode to capture the air in which I was now in and the openness.
Secondly, today. Perhaps the vastness of this city overwhelms me; it's just too much to take on at times. But I went to Little Tokyo by myself, to eat by myself. And I indeed found myself to have a fulfilling conversation with a director/producer. Her concept to her film paralleled a tad with my current life situation with my sister.
What I learned: sometimes you need to put yourself on the back burner/to stay the stable one and put your intelligent/curious self forward when dealing with people and their mental framework. People can lash out on you due to their self-projections. It's more productive to not feel attacked and instead turn the question on them.
They think you are 'x quality' of which you don't think you are? Ask them for examples. If none can be stated, say 'I'm curious, are you 'x quality'? Seek it out in them when you don't believe you are the one who is 'x quality'.
