The first day, I scan the room
Am I a spy? I'd like to think so.
So many faces that are unamused
Blank Blank Blank
There you are!
Except I had no concept of 'you' prior to this moment
I glance your way hoping your eyesight is as bad as the one I'm using
Because if we were to exchange looks I wouldn't be able to tell
And considering the number of times I've looked at you, I hope you wouldn't be able to tell.
The second day, I scan the room from a different view
You are almost opposite of me
Staring could be a problem
You remind me of a past person
My hope is that you would be better
But then again, you're just another stranger
25.8.10
Stranger 1
My being decides to sit next to you
Mind is still catching its breath and settling in
Settled
A mirror stands between us
I see your aluminum bottle, reflecting mine
Your self-printed notes highlighted just as mine
A pen in hand and a thick highlighter on the sideline such like mine
Hmph, I should say something
Tension builds
Nothing
Such a fool I am
For some reason I build an internal connection with your soul
As if I knew
How silly of me
But I wonder whether you wonder the same.
Mind is still catching its breath and settling in
Settled
A mirror stands between us
I see your aluminum bottle, reflecting mine
Your self-printed notes highlighted just as mine
A pen in hand and a thick highlighter on the sideline such like mine
Hmph, I should say something
Tension builds
Nothing
Such a fool I am
For some reason I build an internal connection with your soul
As if I knew
How silly of me
But I wonder whether you wonder the same.
16.8.10
As if I wasn't excited before
Galavanting on campus in an imaginary cape and crown again
A purpose served after a purpose
As I walk just for a walk
The idea of drawing buildings intrigued me once more
My eyes look for material for I do not want to draw on line paper
There! A pile of cardboard boxes waiting to be recycled
Come here you, I'll rip off an appendage
Ready.
Now what view would you like to gaze at for awhile?
Here? No.
Over there? No.
Ooh a guy on a bench accompanied by a bike, shall I converse? No, let's draw.
Old Main: the first building here. Yes.
Angle from the front? No, too typical.
From the side? Oh my. Yes.
Hello curb. And walker by-ers and passing bicyclists. Buh bye.
The lines and edges of the scene are mighty beautiful.
So is the depth and space
I can feel nonchalant observers against my back
Beads of sweat make their debut, but we welcome you.
It's fine.
All I care about are lines and edges.
'Yay another addition to my inspiration wall' I thought
'Wait, well why don't you share this with someone' my pen tells me
Date it, time it, write a question on it and set it on the curb where I sat.
Let's go read my novel now.
Then let's balance it on my head on the way back to the car.
Silly Genius. Okay let's.
A purpose served after a purpose
As I walk just for a walk
The idea of drawing buildings intrigued me once more
My eyes look for material for I do not want to draw on line paper
There! A pile of cardboard boxes waiting to be recycled
Come here you, I'll rip off an appendage
Ready.
Now what view would you like to gaze at for awhile?
Here? No.
Over there? No.
Ooh a guy on a bench accompanied by a bike, shall I converse? No, let's draw.
Old Main: the first building here. Yes.
Angle from the front? No, too typical.
From the side? Oh my. Yes.
Hello curb. And walker by-ers and passing bicyclists. Buh bye.
The lines and edges of the scene are mighty beautiful.
So is the depth and space
I can feel nonchalant observers against my back
Beads of sweat make their debut, but we welcome you.
It's fine.
All I care about are lines and edges.
'Yay another addition to my inspiration wall' I thought
'Wait, well why don't you share this with someone' my pen tells me
Date it, time it, write a question on it and set it on the curb where I sat.
Let's go read my novel now.
Then let's balance it on my head on the way back to the car.
Silly Genius. Okay let's.
Likeable
Just thought of a question and wanted to share.
What are some things you enjoy now that you didn't [or as much like] a year ago?
1. Picking up nature, ie. leaves, branches, flowers
2. Giving out flowers to strangers
3. Walks
4. Poetry, philosophy, and fibers
5. Forming dreams
6. Asking questions
7. The idea of being shameless
8. Cameras [more so]
9. Hugs with a lot of lovin'
10. Finding ways to be creative in everyday life instead of just for school projects
11. Religion
12. Not having a Facebook
13. Artists' blogs [I'd consider you guys in that category along with fine artists]
14. My parents
15. Letters in my mailbox
16. Child drawing
17. Letting go
18. Downloading
19. Buying books
20. Happiness in the Now
What are some things you enjoy now that you didn't [or as much like] a year ago?
1. Picking up nature, ie. leaves, branches, flowers
2. Giving out flowers to strangers
3. Walks
4. Poetry, philosophy, and fibers
5. Forming dreams
6. Asking questions
7. The idea of being shameless
8. Cameras [more so]
9. Hugs with a lot of lovin'
10. Finding ways to be creative in everyday life instead of just for school projects
11. Religion
12. Not having a Facebook
13. Artists' blogs [I'd consider you guys in that category along with fine artists]
14. My parents
15. Letters in my mailbox
16. Child drawing
17. Letting go
18. Downloading
19. Buying books
20. Happiness in the Now
11.8.10
Let's Play Catch Up
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
It happens quite often when I'm on my own. I think I did it earlier today when I was trying to calm down mentally and letting bad energy out [which hasn't really visited me much booyah]. I take the time to inhale deeply and the same with exhaling, in still moments, in segments of solely sitting and clearing files in my brain. Every time I undergo this, I think of this quote that relates to listening to your breath instead of going against it or forcing its length.
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Well I'll tell you what came to mind: art as therapy. I feel like painting was pretty popular to deal with coping in boggling situations. For example, The Scream.
In an old art history class, the instructor [and the distortion of my memory] recalls that the artist was hallucinating or hearing things. Or he experienced an unbearable anxiety.
So I went off subject, but I wanted to make the point of instead seeing creativity in insanity or in ruined things. All seems intertwined. Insanity provokes so many emotions.
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Well, first I had to label my fears. I really couldn't pinpoint anything, but as of lately I talk about becoming monotonous or a robot. I suppose my fear would to give up on creating my imagination and developing my curiosity with a passion in me to learn and be enthusiastic. It's all definitely a habit that still needs to be practiced to become second nature, but it's a work in progress. My fear would to find no purpose and though I've stumbled upon it, it hasn't succeeded me, I don't think it ever will. Because for my mind to stop would be like the earth not rotating.
It happens quite often when I'm on my own. I think I did it earlier today when I was trying to calm down mentally and letting bad energy out [which hasn't really visited me much booyah]. I take the time to inhale deeply and the same with exhaling, in still moments, in segments of solely sitting and clearing files in my brain. Every time I undergo this, I think of this quote that relates to listening to your breath instead of going against it or forcing its length.
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Well I'll tell you what came to mind: art as therapy. I feel like painting was pretty popular to deal with coping in boggling situations. For example, The Scream.
So I went off subject, but I wanted to make the point of instead seeing creativity in insanity or in ruined things. All seems intertwined. Insanity provokes so many emotions.
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Well, first I had to label my fears. I really couldn't pinpoint anything, but as of lately I talk about becoming monotonous or a robot. I suppose my fear would to give up on creating my imagination and developing my curiosity with a passion in me to learn and be enthusiastic. It's all definitely a habit that still needs to be practiced to become second nature, but it's a work in progress. My fear would to find no purpose and though I've stumbled upon it, it hasn't succeeded me, I don't think it ever will. Because for my mind to stop would be like the earth not rotating.
9.8.10
Faith in the Invisible
What do you feel is your greatest skill?
Deciding. Laugh all you want because I'm very indecisive and toddle between slight adjusted ideas, but I'm talking about my Genius' deciding. I believe I have good impulses, it's a matter or whether I follow them or not. Starting this year, it is becoming clearer to me to let certain voices inside my head guide me instead of falling fearful of them because of insecurity and worrying about the outcome. There are distinct voices in one's mind to let this creative Genius live its glory but it's smogged among overlapping voices of Pressure, Society, and sometimes overly-sensitive Emotions. So maybe it isn't technically my greatest skill per se, but its waiting to happen and ready to let its light shine through.
Deciding. Laugh all you want because I'm very indecisive and toddle between slight adjusted ideas, but I'm talking about my Genius' deciding. I believe I have good impulses, it's a matter or whether I follow them or not. Starting this year, it is becoming clearer to me to let certain voices inside my head guide me instead of falling fearful of them because of insecurity and worrying about the outcome. There are distinct voices in one's mind to let this creative Genius live its glory but it's smogged among overlapping voices of Pressure, Society, and sometimes overly-sensitive Emotions. So maybe it isn't technically my greatest skill per se, but its waiting to happen and ready to let its light shine through.
Lone Traveler
If all of your debt was forgiven tomorrow, and you had a completely clean slate, what is the very FIRST thing you would change about your life?
This was indeed difficult to answer. I had to think of different scenarios and many side questions. When I interpret clean slate, part of me defines it as no attachments. So since I feel pretty emotionally stable with no strong attachments to one thing or another and if I had the ability to basically do anything I want, I would decide to drop everything, pack a backpack, and start traveling by foot. The rush of letting everything go because I feel I'm at a good spot is nothing but alluring. I can't imagine feeling the bad side of solitude because my mind can keep itself in good enough company, being awed by everything. The only negative thing would be elements of danger. Not being in contact wouldn't phase me like it use to. Making mistakes would be inevitable. Learning how to cope would strengthen my common sense. I just imagine the world revealing it's simple secrets to me.
This was indeed difficult to answer. I had to think of different scenarios and many side questions. When I interpret clean slate, part of me defines it as no attachments. So since I feel pretty emotionally stable with no strong attachments to one thing or another and if I had the ability to basically do anything I want, I would decide to drop everything, pack a backpack, and start traveling by foot. The rush of letting everything go because I feel I'm at a good spot is nothing but alluring. I can't imagine feeling the bad side of solitude because my mind can keep itself in good enough company, being awed by everything. The only negative thing would be elements of danger. Not being in contact wouldn't phase me like it use to. Making mistakes would be inevitable. Learning how to cope would strengthen my common sense. I just imagine the world revealing it's simple secrets to me.
3.8.10
Shameless Courageous
What is something you have never tried but would like to?
To approach a stranger and have an insightful conversation with them. It's only happened in my mind because at times I pretend everyone in the world are friends and are good. So conversations and laughs would be able to happen anywhere, anytime.
To approach a stranger and have an insightful conversation with them. It's only happened in my mind because at times I pretend everyone in the world are friends and are good. So conversations and laughs would be able to happen anywhere, anytime.
--Just saw Casey's and it looks like I copied. Phooey. Well another is to do some free-spirited act on campus. Modeling after Brittany's pipe cleaner hearts.
2.8.10
Dancing with Myself.
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
I think I take the subject of self-improvement/reflection very close to heart. Often, especially when I'm puzzled about life, I physically write down or mentally take a journey through my life to see how I've changed and grown. Daily routines, friendships, attempted relationships, mentality, etcetera. I remember how I was before 'this' thing happened and what qualities altered after. This is probably why I've always liked talking about myself because I then form phrases from all of the floating feelings I couldn't find words for. I know it can come off as selfish, but to me it simply is a discussion of what my soul and body is doing. Somehow it seems separate to whatever 'me' is. Also, I write down qualities I admire and make comparisons with how other people go about life. I try to figure out what caused me to evolve over time and what phase I was going through. I'm a constant phase-r, saying in my mind I'm trying to do 'this' because of 'this' and trying to sound like 'this'. This leads to a lot of mental contradictions and arguments, thus me saying 'i don't think that even made sense.' I also wish people could just tell you how to be better as a whole, but society isn't really like that. No doubt, there's a load of people thinking of self-improvement. It's just rarely talk amongst usual conversation and evaluation isn't as mapped out I suppose. But who knows.
I think I take the subject of self-improvement/reflection very close to heart. Often, especially when I'm puzzled about life, I physically write down or mentally take a journey through my life to see how I've changed and grown. Daily routines, friendships, attempted relationships, mentality, etcetera. I remember how I was before 'this' thing happened and what qualities altered after. This is probably why I've always liked talking about myself because I then form phrases from all of the floating feelings I couldn't find words for. I know it can come off as selfish, but to me it simply is a discussion of what my soul and body is doing. Somehow it seems separate to whatever 'me' is. Also, I write down qualities I admire and make comparisons with how other people go about life. I try to figure out what caused me to evolve over time and what phase I was going through. I'm a constant phase-r, saying in my mind I'm trying to do 'this' because of 'this' and trying to sound like 'this'. This leads to a lot of mental contradictions and arguments, thus me saying 'i don't think that even made sense.' I also wish people could just tell you how to be better as a whole, but society isn't really like that. No doubt, there's a load of people thinking of self-improvement. It's just rarely talk amongst usual conversation and evaluation isn't as mapped out I suppose. But who knows.
1.8.10
Quest[ion]
What is your fondest childhood memory? Who was there? What was going on?
I've been knee deep in watercolors and memories this weekend. I remind myself of this night because it's the thing that sticks out where my mom did something out of the ordinary for my sister and I when I was maybe in 1st grade or somewhere close to that age. It was the simplest gesture and I never knew why she did it because I didn't have a bad day or anything I can recall like that. I was already asleep and she came to wake me up and we sat at the high counter. And I remember my favorite plastic angled light green bowl. Canned peaches is a comfort food now, it was eaten a good amount of times in Italy to be honest.
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