I sit here wondering. My mind gazes at future arrangements: the fall. I have a slowly building community here, but it will temporarily not be. I have a flame burning here, but it will temporarily not be. I have a quietness, a comfortability, a knowledge here, but it will temporarily not be.

And I think of all the potential greatness that could happen within 5 months away. The things I will do, the actions I will try, the level of love that is waiting to be discovered. The restraints, the possibilities. I'm anticipating this heaven to form before me, but don't worry dear I don't just live through anticipation--I try to LIVE it. This is the recorded reminder for my Self; a thought that is gaining physical form and soon into action. For I want to take my semester and push it towards the edge again, revive it's already heavy breath. From euphoric tire to euphoric desire. Integrating and interweaving with the fabrics of the souls I have yet to meet. Everything from before will be pleasantly on hold, busy as I am busy and we shall meet again: re-meet again, all of you. I think it would be nice to distant myself yet again and find another piece of me, another dimension that I don't know of. To create some new from some old to grow grow grow. Because I hold you close World and I am here, trying to stretch myself to wrap my arms warmly around you as we inhale then sigh with a comforting relief as one, together.

Stream of consciousness, 04202011 20:53

But can't I rest here, the day subtly alongside of me
I want to stare up into the nothingness of the ceiling
Reach the end of the skies
Because the view is awfully serene
As though it's the edge of the sea
And the words that it has spoken have not been appreciated enough
I have not stayed long to feel the breeze of the melodies
I want it all, I want to live all the kinds of lives
To swim in the motions of the tides to and fro
But I also want you, and you
I wish to keep all of you
The shells that can make a collection
Because I'm in some sort of worldly love

Gliding on the shining surface

Through the depths of clarity

But I come back to the middle where the sky meets the ocean

The kind reality

And I try to hold onto the molecules of now
Though the silky water won't stay here in my hands

Falling back into its origin while I watch its particles disperse

I love you dear water but I know you must go

I can't cage water, I can't cage a bird

But WAIT.
Wouldn't it be lovely for everyone on campus to befriend each other?
Then our cheeks can hurt from smiling
Our arms exhaust from heavy hugs
Our voices tire from caring
Our hearts euphoric with love

Because I saw your face today
As you were riding your bike humbly by
I wave and smile
You reflect the notion
I repeat a degree more enthusiastically
And you reflect once more when you realize who it is

Because I saw you walking with a friend across the street
And I shout hello

Because you saw me and thought I didn't remember you
But I did, I did

Because our paths crossed one another in a time unfamiliar
You acknowledged me with a nod
A curtsy of the mind
I smiled
To you, then to the leaves

Because I walk around trying to smile to strangers
Then you smiled as if you were my undiscovered grandpa
Mouthed "hi" and raised a wave
We shared that moment didn't we?

Because being engaged is much more beautiful than the repulsion of the ego
And patience is kinder to the heart
And sharing the Wonderful makes the souls forge together
"Come my friends, 'tis not too late to seek a newer world."