Ready As I'll Ever Be

It was the first lazy day in months. How good it felt to revive, how uncomforting at the same time. It was a rainy day here in Florence. And to think I would be able to first pack away my big coats NOT. But I did need one more rainy day in my Italian life, just one more. So that I could remember the way it feels to share an umbrella with a complete foreign stranger for two seconds as he comes from the other direction on these narrow cobblestone sidewalks. For that moment, I feel a smile in my heart. There is something about having secret internal feelings.

Last night was the art and fashion show. Boy oh boy. To think it's almost over. To think I leave this town in 7 days. To think. I cannot wait to REALLY spend time to think this summer. I feel as though I've been so wrapped up in being 'physically busy', I haven't found the right balance to be truly and thoughtfully busy. My brain has been feeling pretty empty the past few months to be honest, not too much has been rotating up there. It's just not the same when I'm not creating concepts as much as I did last semester and a part of it was because I spent a majority of my time alone, to develop on my own.

Recap and additions to summer commitments:

Internship/job in Tucson

Frequently watch movies/documentaries [goal is to watch one daily]

Cook from recipes to form a kitchen foundation

Learn a new word a day to expand my vocabulary

Draw in sketchbook daily/record what I learn from each day

Read read read

I know it seems I have many things I want to do daily. Maybe I will set up a routine structure with room for spontaneity. It's always best to at least start things out with an over-accomplishing passion isn't it? Another thing: go to sleep early to wake up early.

O me, O life, O how it feels to feel.

Thank you to my genius for giving me the impulse to study abroad. I wouldn't have done it without your strong drive. You did well to put me in a realm of darkness to find the sunlight. To rediscover myself, to build another stone of foundation, to be proud, to be okay with myself, to create so many loves for things I didn't know existed prior, to realize what I'm all about, to not care what doesn't need to be cared for, to let loose.