18.4.10
We aren't stuck, we are just confused
Maybe life is about giving into our human emotions; to follow these magical instincts or is this classified as a weakness? Can the mind be so strong to resist or stronger to give in? Let me just break down in front of you right here right now. I've been a mess [the usual], my mind feels like it's falling apart. I don't know what to have my brain think anymore. It's easy for me to cry either because of underground stress or because I know something is about to end or because I've been inhaling too many toxic art chemicals or because I'm emotionally unstable at the end of every semester. I've always been a sensitive being. How can life carry so much heartache when I haven't even experienced heartache as it is universally known. I can't love in a state like this or even interact. Maybe I should draw away from the world, perhaps escaping is most favorable because no one talks about their feelings like the way I do. They wouldn't understand the multitudes I carry. The silent multitudes.
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You can't constantly carry the baggage alone. That's what we are for. Even if no one talks about feelings like you do, no one listens like us. We love you Abelle... and we're all emotional messes, so don't alienate yourself love :)
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like you're not confused at all. I'm not. I'm constantly questioning why the emotions and behaviors I carry on my sleeves and shoulders for the world to see aren't reciprocated in everyone else. Why is it so hard for everyone to just speak their minds, feel what they feel and let it be? Perhaps they all look at us and our "heartaches" and think twice about stepping out of the box, but even though my hurt outweighs the good a lot of the time, it's a constant reminder that I'm alive. I'm living. And I will continue to live.
ReplyDeleteI know the semester is coming to a close, but don't second-guess your ability to soar. All of that instability is beauty. You just have to find a way to see it.