Static

Today quite possibly was the most beautiful day Florence has seen in the past three months. The most ideal weather ever. 20 degrees celsius [whatever that converts to], sunny yet breezy. Unfortunately I slept in until 11 and took an hour nap a few hours later. Though, in between and after my nap, I went about the city and drew sceneries. You would think such a day would be motivating, but I didn't know what to do with myself for the past 11ish hours. I kept going back and forth on whether I should do this or that and realizing how much time was wasted on my indecisiveness. It even took me two hours to get out of bed this morning. I despise getting in this slump of unsureness and even no thinking. It's like my brain went on neutral or sleep mode. I'm just this walking, breathing thing with not much to say. A similar case happened during winter break. I think the future is hitting home. I know a big change is coming soon: Returning back. Yes, yes I recall this during break because I was silently anticipating moving to Florence, now it's the same process but reverse. This mindless state I'm in, not wanting to deal with anything especially reality. There's an endless list of things to do within the next 21 days. TWENTY ONE DAYS. I wish the end date of the program was an obscure number, like 26, so it wouldn't be so easy to subtract today's date from the 30th.

Stillness won't be known, only when it is allowed when taking in a moment. The stillness that I experienced tonight was no good. I played songs that I use to play over and over last semester and they brought upsetting memories and longing. How easily songs can influence your mood and thought process.

Tonight I take it easy, actually watch a movie [this is unlikely, my attention never spans long enough], continue to write my Venice short story, write in my journal, subconscious drawing, organizing my room, or reading my Walt Whitman book of which I've been carrying all day but never cracking it open. Perhaps I'll just shower, drink peach juice, and go to sleep. Tomorrow is a brand new day, where I'll welcome it with a subtle smile and a heart with passion.