I just had a 17 minute conversation with my sister and a successful one at that. She left me a voicemail earlier to wish me a happy birthday and how mentally easy it would have been to send her a text message back-I even planned what I would have said 'Thank you, happy unbirthday to you. Enjoy this day.' Because I haven't had a conversation with her since.........winter break. Well hi 6 months later. How natural it is to not talk because that way we stay safe, that way I feel safe. We never discuss and she hates my rambling. I think I'm taking after my dad with rambling but saying at least one things that moves you. And ladies and gentlemen this is my GOAL IN LIFE [I actually wrote it down today to confirm it and here I am to share it with you people because I think you are overly worthy].
'My dream is to learn how to influence people, how to move them, whether it be through my art, my stillness, or my words. How to have an effect on people. My dream is to invest in you and to fall for one another. To make our souls compatible.'
It will take time and it will be a task, but that's why it's most valuable. I also have to remind myself a lot because often I forget even if I have a purpose.
So why not start with grabbing the reigns of the strongest reindeer? We talked among our current events and I dipped right in with my philosophy referencing and having a creative outlet to feel fulfilled. Good thing I have been practicing for such a casual speech. And you know what? I got her excited for something, I'm going to start sending her mail art. I committed to doing it consistently and said she can too if she has time. I'm back at this route of attempting to give endlessly and not wrap my head around receiving. That's up to the other side. I'm trying to shake up her definition of happiness. You can be happy right here in the Present rather then making yourself look forward to happiness while being unhappy along the way, because when you think you reached the thing that is 'suppose' to make you happy it won't give you this feeling. You've carried this unhappy baggage too long to make an automatic switch into bliss. No physical thing can, it comes from within you. That's my way of thinking anyhow, share with me what thoughts have arose in your mind while reading this. Related, slightly related, whichever.
Throughout this blog post I could help thinking...
ReplyDelete1) Wow, her writing gets even better with every post. I'm in love (<--not meant to be creepy, this time).
2) NO WAY! I've been toying with the thought of how necessary creative outlets really are. -I bought a journal a couple weeks back for photos/poems/quotes/sketches/what have you. And I'm quoting your life goal in it :)
3) And by some cosmic, random chance, we became friends. And soon, roommates. Sometimes I forget how kind the world can be.
... you can interpret that last one to be creepy, if you see fit.
1) Look at you. Wow.
ReplyDelete2) I agree with you about where happiness comes from and love how you put it. You would have convinced me.