2 decades

20 years I have been alive, well in this lifetime at least.

I suppose this is the time to ponder and pull words from above.

My first thought is that I think I like life. Life and I are one. I haven't grown to love it unconditionally quite yet but it's okay because I'm building a relationship with it/within myself. I cannot naturally burst 'I love life', that would be like a girl mixing up a crush with a full on in-love situation [been there done that]. I'm spending time with it, getting a feel, evolving an infatuation towards the truest of true. I'm learning how to settle in my armchair to know the structure, the layers, the foundation; and once I do I will soon learn how to balance on it in ways that will amaze you.

Some are already in love [or maybe they only think so], they are already feeling the joy. They are my references not my competition. How did they get to the level of Being so quickly, how have their neurons experience so much in so little time? I am a turtle, an elephant, a bird. Taking time, dipping my toes, following a herd from time to time, wandering aimlessly. But now, NOW I am gaining. I'm traveling with the wind.

I've found some stones you see. By the sea, in the woods, among the desert, even from foreign lands. I have them in my bare hands, trying to build this foundation of mine. Slow and thoughtful I'd say I am and all I can be is sure as can be. It's a difficult task can't you see? Because while I'm laboring I stare in awe of the sky, it's eternity. Once it's beauty subsides in me for a short while, I noticed you've built your fort, your roof over your head. How did you-? What the-? I can't duplicate yours because why would I want to? I need to make mine for me, because in the long run I want this 'home' to be of my work, of my knowledge that I've built upon all on my own. It's curves and edges I've created. So you go on, dance and sing. I'll admire you from here, trying to feel your light, but listen to my rhythm and watch my movements. Because one day I'll join you and we'll all be great twirls under the same constellation.