Let's Play Catch Up

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?


It happens quite often when I'm on my own. I think I did it earlier today when I was trying to calm down mentally and letting bad energy out [which hasn't really visited me much booyah]. I take the time to inhale deeply and the same with exhaling, in still moments, in segments of solely sitting and clearing files in my brain. Every time I undergo this, I think of this quote that relates to listening to your breath instead of going against it or forcing its length.




Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?


Well I'll tell you what came to mind: art as therapy. I feel like painting was pretty popular to deal with coping in boggling situations. For example, The Scream.

In an old art history class, the instructor [and the distortion of my memory] recalls that the artist was hallucinating or hearing things. Or he experienced an unbearable anxiety.
So I went off subject, but I wanted to make the point of instead seeing creativity in insanity or in ruined things. All seems intertwined. Insanity provokes so many emotions.




Has your greatest fear ever come true?


Well, first I had to label my fears. I really couldn't pinpoint anything, but as of lately I talk about becoming monotonous or a robot. I suppose my fear would to give up on creating my imagination and developing my curiosity with a passion in me to learn and be enthusiastic. It's all definitely a habit that still needs to be practiced to become second nature, but it's a work in progress. My fear would to find no purpose and though I've stumbled upon it, it hasn't succeeded me, I don't think it ever will. Because for my mind to stop would be like the earth not rotating.

Write your epitaph - the sentence you would want to appear on your grave.


I'm still around.


It's funny, I would want something blunt yet poetic, there's the gemini in me.

Faith in the Invisible

What do you feel is your greatest skill? 


Deciding. Laugh all you want because I'm very indecisive and toddle between slight adjusted ideas, but I'm talking about my Genius' deciding. I believe I have good impulses, it's a matter or whether I follow them or not. Starting this year, it is becoming clearer to me to let certain voices inside my head guide me instead of falling fearful of them because of insecurity and worrying about the outcome. There are distinct voices in one's mind to let this creative Genius live its glory but it's smogged among overlapping voices of Pressure, Society, and sometimes overly-sensitive Emotions. So maybe it isn't technically my greatest skill per se, but its waiting to happen and ready to let its light shine through.

Lone Traveler

If all of your debt was forgiven tomorrow, and you had a completely clean slate, what is the very FIRST thing you would change about your life?


This was indeed difficult to answer. I had to think of different scenarios and many side questions. When I interpret clean slate, part of me defines it as no attachments. So since I feel pretty emotionally stable with no strong attachments to one thing or another and if I had the ability to basically do anything I want, I would decide to drop everything, pack a backpack, and start traveling by foot. The rush of letting everything go because I feel I'm at a good spot is nothing but alluring. I can't imagine feeling the bad side of solitude because my mind can keep itself in good enough company, being awed by everything. The only negative thing would be elements of danger. Not being in contact wouldn't phase me like it use to. Making mistakes would be inevitable. Learning how to cope would strengthen my common sense. I just imagine the world revealing it's simple secrets to me.

Shameless Courageous

What is something you have never tried but would like to?


To approach a stranger and have an insightful conversation with them. It's only happened in my mind because at times I pretend everyone in the world are friends and are good. So conversations and laughs would be able to happen anywhere, anytime.

--Just saw Casey's and it looks like I copied. Phooey. Well another is to do some free-spirited act on campus. Modeling after Brittany's pipe cleaner hearts.

Dancing with Myself.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?


I think I take the subject of self-improvement/reflection very close to heart. Often, especially when I'm puzzled about life, I physically write down or mentally take a journey through my life to see how I've changed and grown. Daily routines, friendships, attempted relationships, mentality, etcetera. I remember how I was before 'this' thing happened and what qualities altered after. This is probably why I've always liked talking about myself because I then form phrases from all of the floating feelings I couldn't find words for. I know it can come off as selfish, but to me it simply is a discussion of what my soul and body is doing. Somehow it seems separate to whatever 'me' is. Also, I write down qualities I admire and make comparisons with how other people go about life. I try to figure out what caused me to evolve over time and what phase I was going through. I'm a constant phase-r, saying in my mind I'm trying to do 'this' because of 'this' and trying to sound like 'this'. This leads to a lot of mental contradictions and arguments, thus me saying 'i don't think that even made sense.' I also wish people could just tell you how to be better as a whole, but society isn't really like that. No doubt, there's a load of people thinking of self-improvement. It's just rarely talk amongst usual conversation and evaluation isn't as mapped out I suppose. But who knows.

Quest[ion]

What is your fondest childhood memory? Who was there? What was going on?

I've been knee deep in watercolors and memories this weekend. I remind myself of this night because it's the thing that sticks out where my mom did something out of the ordinary for my sister and I when I was maybe in 1st grade or somewhere close to that age. It was the simplest gesture and I never knew why she did it because I didn't have a bad day or anything I can recall like that. I was already asleep and she came to wake me up and we sat at the high counter. And I remember my favorite plastic angled light green bowl. Canned peaches is a comfort food now, it was eaten a good amount of times in Italy to be honest.