I have been looking for parts of me that I feel like had been gone for so long, this spontaneity, this freedom, this carelessness. It was the Tucsonan energy.

Well I finally have been tapping into it again and I'm glad that dynamic is still alive within my person.  It started with my solo drive to my beloved home state. I finally hit a point in my 7-8 hour drive when I rolled the windows down and in came the desert rain smell and a flood of emotions. It was stunning, that feeling. I pulled to the side of the rode to capture the air in which I was now in and the openness.

Secondly, today. Perhaps the vastness of this city overwhelms me; it's just too much to take on at times. But I went to Little Tokyo by myself, to eat by myself. And I indeed found myself to have a fulfilling conversation with a director/producer. Her concept to her film paralleled a tad with my current life situation with my sister.

What I learned: sometimes you need to put yourself on the back burner/to stay the stable one and put your intelligent/curious self forward when dealing with people and their mental framework. People can lash out on you due to their self-projections. It's more productive to not feel attacked and instead turn the question on them.

They think you are 'x quality' of which you don't think you are? Ask them for examples. If none can be stated, say 'I'm curious, are you 'x quality'?  Seek it out in them when you don't believe you are the one who is 'x quality'.

"Creation is really a sustained period of bliss — even though the subject can still be very sad. 

....Because there’s the triumph of coming through and understanding that you have, and that you did it the way only you could do it — you didn’t do it the way somebody told you to do it, you did it just the way you had to do it. And that is what makes us us."
--Alice Walker

"I'm not afraid of failing, I'm not a failure. I'm afraid of succeeding at living a boring existence... which, to me, is the slow death of allowing myself to fail."
--Marcus Omari of Poetic Reform Party
July 7 2014




"It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for the next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can't) you would see your own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying of drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you pick this thing up, making discovery sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it was nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stilling that out-of-sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which he went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind, and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on."

One's life and inner world can move so quickly that we lose sight of genuinely connecting and showing gratitude to all of the loved ones near by, and easily the strangers near by as well. There's always so much more love and appreciation to offer. Everyone is entitled to some even when they are wearing a mask and are quiet about it.

July 3 2014


Being a showcase director gives me the guts to approach some dang remarkable artists. It's a silly feeling to get butterflies quite frequently while sending out emails or talking with them. I'm the one who is providing an opportunity though what an opportunity to work with them, I say!

People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our own innermost being and reality, so that the we actually feel the rapture of being alive. -- Joseph Campbell

"Oh, don't take life so seriously!
Because seriousness is a great dis-ease,
and not only a disease but a suicide also.
Be playful -- totally
because that is the only way to be living.
Life is a play, a leela.

If you can act and live as if acting and living in a dream
and still be a witness to it
then you will be in the cosmic flow, the Tao.

And to be in the cosmic flow is to be free --
free from oneself, the Ego.
The Ego is the seriousness, the disease,
and the Tao, the egoless existence, is the bliss,
the ecstasy."

~ Osho

It's interesting. To be in our own little worlds and at certain points we have moments that stop us in our tracks to realize there is so so much more. We are such a tiny dot and our dot is sometimes extremely self-focused.

Robots we are at times. To be efficient and "productive". Life is weird. What is there to know? What is there we need to do? To truly feeling connected, appreciated, and to help one another thrive.

5/8/14

You. You have an abundance of potential inside of yourself. You know you do and you can feel it growing. Water it and let it go. May the flowering of your soul surface and always try to reach the sunlight.

Hm yes, I only am made up of one though perhaps I can do a handful of mighty things in this lifetime. Or even many many mighty little things will do as well. I suppose it doesn't hurt to strive for both.

5/5/2014